Good evening everyone...well I can't really say everyone, I doubt anyone reads this but it is a good place for me to put down my thoughts and just get them out.
So I've been in the Chicago and Green Bay area for the last couple of days enjoying time with some dear friends, it is so wonderful how God provides for us just what we need when we need it.
That being said, I have been having a really hard time with the end of this Basic Training. It has now been 25 days with no call from Shane, the only contact being the intermittent letters I have received. Today I was informed by a fellow Army wife who is with Shane, things are not going well for him, that he is not progressing as well as they would like him to. I find this hard to believe. The things she was saying where not characteristics of Shane at all, I know that but for some reason it has really been bothering me. I don't know what it is, but this time around, since his return after Christmas Exodus, I have been struggling even more with everything. I am finding I have less patience and just want to cry more. I have been feeling absolutely horrible...I feel bad because I feel like I bring everyone else down...I feel alone...I miss Shane more then the first time around .
Although I have been really enjoying myself with my friends, at the same time I feel absolutly horrible and want to do nothing...I want to go sit in a corner and cry...I just want to hear from Shane, just to hear his voice. I guess tomorrow could be a better chance of a phone call, I think that as long as I hear from him I would be doing better...I try not to listen to others, if its not coming directly from the source I know I can not take it for the truth...but I just worry.
I'm sorry for just rambling on like I am...I just need to get things off my chest.
Good night.
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